Strengthening the Family; Part 2 Quality Time

"The most important of the Lord's work you and I will ever do will

be within the walls of our own homes. Effective family leadership,

brethren, requires both quantity and quality time" Harold B Lee

Quantity Time-I must admit I wasn't too surprised when I read that the American family spends 40% less time together now than they did 20 years ago. When you start to turn that into actual hours over a child's lifetime the numbers are staggering.

Lets say families used to spend 20 hours a week together (just over 3hrs/day), based on this study they now spend only 12 so that's turns into

8 less hours/week

34.6 less hours/month

416 less hours/year

7,488 less hours/(18 years)

312 LESS DAYS

That is like missing almost a full year out of your child's life! Watching Porter grow this past year I have begun to realize how short our time with our children at home really is- What can we do to take advantage of every moment of it

Quality Time- As a stay at home mom I am lucky that I do get a lot of "Quantity" time with Porter- what really got me to thinking is the issue of "Quality" time- When I started looking at a typical day in our lives I began to see lots of what I call "missed moments" little snatches of time here and there where I was to busy involved in what I was doing that I missed an opportunity with Porter- to teach, to play, to laugh or even just to be right there.

A few days ago as I was feeding Porter I noticed that when I feed him he stares off into space and it is somewhat hard to get his attention- which for him, my social little guy, is pretty uncommon. After giving it a little thought I realized that almost every time I fed him since he was born I was either reading a book or watching TV- no wonder he was ignoring me! It made me sad to think of all those little "missed moments" that I could have talked to him, sang him primary songs, or even just gazed into those sweet little baby eyes- now that our "feeding" days are quickly drawing to and end I wish I had taken the opportunity to develop that as "Quality" time for us rather than plodding through it as just another task to do.

My goal now is to make the effort to be there on his level interacting with him- not just letting him play at my feet while I type away or work on other projects.... Which may mean a few less blog posts or saving my scrapbooking till he's asleep but in the end I know I will be giving the most to what matters most- my priceless little guy.

That is my challenge to you this week to find at least one little way that you can improve the quality of the time you spend with those you love

The little tooth that wouldn't- and a mess

Poor Porter his tooth is being stubborn and still hasn't quite come in- I feel so bad for the poor little guy! He hasn't been eating much due I am guessing to the tooth pain so last night, in an effort to get some kind of food down and also to give him something cool to sooth his mouth him I gave him a Popsicle. Of course true to character he wanted to do it himself- he needed a bath anyway so I figured what the heck...... Needless to say it was a bit of a mess and he ended up getting put in the tub fully clothed- which hopefully was enough pre-soaking to get the stains out of his shirt. =)

YUMMM!

A mess only a mother could love

Sorry little guy it's all gone!

Our 4th of July Weekend

We had a great Fourth of July weekend- very busy! Aaron's Aunt Bev her husband Tony and their son Mike along with his wife Trish and their daughter Makayla were visiting- it was fun to see them and to watch Porter play with Makayla.

We were very lucky to have great seats for the parade and fireworks; one of Aaron's friends from work lives on the parade route and let us set up a canopy on his lawn- Uncle Scott works really close to where they set off the fireworks and we were able to sit in their parking lot with a great view and we didn't even have to show up early to fight the crowds. I love the picture of me and Porter at the parade- he was so tired that he went right to his sleepy pose- two fingers in the mouth and a handful of mom's hair- We always joke that we need to get Aaron a wig so that Porter has something to hold on to when dad puts him to sleep.

On Saturday we had a big party for Aaron's grandmother's 90 birthday and got to visit with more family who were there for that. In all it was a great weekend!

Porter & Mommy at the Parade

Porter & Makayla

Happy Birthday Grandma

(the watch was the only way we could get him to hold still for the picture)

Porter & Grandma J. at the Fireworks

Porter & Mommy having fun

New tooth, So Tired

Porter was a bear at church- he was getting a new tooth and not very happy. Aaron had to take him out to the foyer, Porter however still wasn't trilled and we could still hear him from the chapel. I ended up bringing him home after sacrament meeting. Once home I put him in his highchair to feed him some lunch before his nap but the poor little guy didn't make it very long....

Later that afternoon we thought we'd go for a drive to check out the reservoir (It's almost full!) at our favorite campground which is just over an hour away. The ride started o.k. but about a half hour into it Porter decided he wasn't interested. Uncle Scott who was with us was a real trooper and tried very hard to keep Porter occupied.

The mountains and reservoir were beautiful and despite the tears it was a fun mini-trip. Porter got to dip his toes in the lake for the first time! - The water was cold and there was a lot of driftwood but he really seemed to like splashing his toes in the water.

Strengthening the Family- #1 Home Environment

"No other success in life can compensate for failure in the home"
David O. McKay

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I have been doing a lot of thinking about my little family lately and what steps we can take to strengthen it. Shortly after Porter was born we purchased the book "25 mistakes LDS Parents Make and How to Avoid Them" by Randal A. Wright, but only last week did I pick it up and start reading it. It is an excellent book with so many good insights that are applicable not only to LDS parents but all parents looking to strengthen and protect their families.

Not to spoil the book (because I think it is a must read) I am going to give my take on each of the principles taught- The first principle

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HOME ENVIRONMENT

A persons home is a reflection of who they are and what matters to them-

Several years ago we had a neighbor in a serious accident- He had been the only one home and his family who had been out of time was headed straight to the hospital. We stopped by their home shortly after the accident to check on their pets and make sure everything was ok. One thing in particular stood out to me- a set of scriptures open on the dining room table, with a marking pencil beside them. They were out- being used- showing that they were important to him.

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I thought of my own scriptures tucked away neatly in a drawer- all to often pulled out only when I remembered to grab them on my way to church.... What did that say about the value I placed upon them? Our Book of Mormon now sits on our kitchen table- it still doesn't get read every day but we are much more likely to remember to read when it is out and available

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What is important to your family?

The things that are most important to me- the things I want to teach my child(ren) to value are

1) Our Family 2) The Gospel 3) Freedom/Our Nation 4) Outdoors 5)Literature/Reading

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How does your home reflect what's important to you?

The choice of pictures and artwork in your home reflects much of our values and whats important to you- Just as a member of Peta wouldn't display a gun rack in their back window- we should display that which reflects our values.

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Pictures in our home include of our family, Christ, the Sacred Grove, George Washington and other historical leaders, The Proclamation on the Family. We also have pictures of the outdoors, animals, and of course lots of little black bears as well as bookshelves full of good books. Like most things of course there is always room to improve.

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Porter's room for example is decorated top to bottom in cute little black bears and pine trees- which is both cute and fits what we value- but does it communicate what we value the most? I am sure that adding a picture of the Savior and/or temple in his room would even further communicate the values that we want him to strive for.

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Children seem to readily value that which their parents do- Almost without fail if you find parents who are very involved in sports- or music- their children are too. We learn what we live with. I think that if we start with our children when they are young not only teaching them our values but surrounding them with little reminders they will be much more likely to value those same things in their lives.

Porter Self Feeding

Porter has decided that he needs to feed himself- If I am not really quick pulling the spoon back out he bites down and will not let go. Once he has control of the spoon he wants to dip it in the babyfood just like mom... I let him try it once and although he managed to get some in his mouth most ended up on him- the highchair- the floor- me.....

He has also decided that cheerios and other such foods are blah- he want's stuff with substance. Last night we were putting away groceries so I cut up some pizza and put it on his tray- not long later dad walked by and noticed he had no food and not knowing I had already given him some, gave him some more. When I came back a few minutes later I gave him more- We figure that he must have eaten at least a whole slice!

Another of his favorites is steamed green beans- which really surprises me because they are pretty chewy. It amazes me how well he chews them with those 8 tiny little teeth. Which, YES TESSA, we are brushing with the toothbrush you gave him!

Food Storage

I have a list of blogs in my google reader that I enjoy reading one of my very favorite is Be It Ever So Humble. Mrs. Mordecai has great ideas on so many homemaking related things. Her post today was on food storage- which is one of the few homemaking areas that I feel like I have a really good handle on (I should say WE my husband is a big helper).


When we got married we were fortunate to have family give us some food storage as wedding presents- in the eight years since then we have added a little here and a little there and have finally got to a point where we can work on maintaining and rotating. We are very fortunate to have a large storage room in our basement that stays nice and cool to keep stuff well preserved.


I know when we started it seemed overwhelming but speaking from experience starting was the hardest part- I truly believe with a little planning, some time, and a little faith anyone can follow the wise council to build their food storage up. That is my challenge to all my family and friends this week. Take a mental inventory of where you are with your food storage and take action- even a little step towards getting it to where you want it to be. You can do it!!!